Tic-Tac-Tilt

From: "Perry B. Friedman" 
To: tiltboys@cs.stanford.edu
Subject: STERN!!
Date: Sat, 24 Feb 1996 00:03:19 -0800 (PST)

OK, so I go to dinner with Stern (this is the first embarassing part for me).
However, we Roshambo'd for dinner and I won.  Chaching!  Count me up.

We eat and then play shufflepuck.  I lose $1 to Stern.  I decide to play him
again, this time for $2, the hustler that I am.  After I am up 3-0 he
offers to double up, and I do.  And I win.  Chaching!  Up $3.

We then go back to Oracle and play gin.  After one Hollywood I am down $7,
minus the $3 he owed me, so down $4.  Well, we played another Hollywood, and I
even got Schneided on one game, so now I am down $65.  DOAH!  Enough
embarassment for me.  It's worth admitting that I lost to Stern in gin
just to tell this story.

Stern is constantly calling Wendy during the gin match, egging me on at
times when I'm down.  But then the tilt revrses as he finds out she is
at home watching "The Last Seduction" without him, and I am telling him
that it is a very HOT movie and a great movie for couples.  He finally
persuades her to hold the film and he'll be home soon.  Well, the Hollywood
finished up and he calls her to let her know he is coming home.  Meanwhile,
on Stern's desk is this wooden tic-tac-toe board that you play with marbles.

The hook:  I offer to play Stern for $35, making it $100 or $30.
I place my marble in the corner.  Stern is still on the phone with Wendy,
who is privy to this game.  Stern thinks for quite a while and says he hasn't
played in a while and starts looking very nervous.  Meanwhile, I am sweating
that Wendy is going to chime in and tell him what to do!  Stern places
his marble in the middle and I immediately go in the corner opposite
my starting corner.  Stern freaks and says "I can't believe I lost!" 
So, in my kindness, I offer to let him take his move back!!!  He then goes
in the corner adjacent to my marble (I'm upper left, he's upper right).
I say "Thank you!  You just lost!" and go in the lower left corner.  The
rest of the game is left as an exercise to the reader, but Stern, wait..
let's do this right

STERN LOST THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS IN TIC-TAC-TOE!

There.

So, basking in my glory, I ask Stern if it's worth $30 to him to have me not
tell anyone!  What an angle!

He thinks about it for a few minutes whilst I tease him some more.  He's mega
tilted, not just at losing, but at being angled into changing his move so
that he would be guaranteed to lose (I'm sure I still could have suckered him
into losing even if he stayed in the middle, but that's another issue
entirely).  All I can say is:   Ay yah!

So now I figure, the fact that I offered him out for $30 is part of the story
which I would not be able to tell for the $30, so I say the story is now 
worth more to me, and while I'd gladly pay him the $30, it was his option,
but now I wnat $10 from him (in addition to cancelling the $30) in order not
to tell.  This then becomes part of the story, which I am now telling all
of you.  It was a self-referential hell for Stern but I payed him in the
elevator on the way out and rushed home to put it all in writing.  In telling
me his decision he said "I don't care if you put it on the web, I want my
$30."  I assured him I'd write the whole thing up for everyone and that it'd
be worth every dime of the $30 to do it.

Perry
aka Tic-tac-toe-boy!

Yes, $35 in a fool's game.  Only against a fool!

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